I, the Getaway Car

To whoever found this,

If you're reading this then it means I'm dead. That or you've been going through my underwear drawer, you perverted little sneaky rat! I'll get you for this.

Ahem...

Okay, well, truth is, I've never really been afraid of dying. I just didn't want to until I've done everything I hoped and dreamed to do. Unfortunately, things don't always go that way. I always thought I'd die when I was, hmm, in my thirties with at least 3 multi-platinum albums (haha!) and two best-selling novels. That or I don't die and instead, become a vampire which would've been so gnarlie.

Oh well. Please tell the following people what I've written for them.

Hmm... Mami, you're the craziest person I know and I'm so happy and proud to have had you all my life. You're the best mommy ever. Screw those who disagree 'cause they're all stupid. Every problem had a solution with you. Pa, despite all the things I'm not, you still love so very much. You always make me feel so safe and that's the best thing anyone could ever give me. I love you both so much. Thank you so much for all the sacrifices you've made for us. I know I could've never comprehended how much you've given up for us all. When everything sucked, I just needed to be with you to remember what it's like to feel so good. When things felt like they couldn't get any worse, you would remind me that there's nothing I couldn't get through. You guys are the best people I've ever known. I love you so so so so so much. Please hear me say that whenever you think of me 'cause I'll never be able to say it enough times. Don't stop making those damn margueritas. I want those in my funeral! I'm sorry you had to bury me and not the other way around. Oh, and please get a doggie! Get mah siblings a german shepherd! Please? PLEASE?!?! PUH-LEASE?!?! Just buy Enzo a lot of Virlix. Heehee. MWAH!!!!!!!!!

Enzo! Entho! Zo! Enzyme, hey, dude. Please remember to KEEP IT COOL. Especially when driving. Stay calm, okidoki? Ha? Your temper sucks, man! Hehe. Labshu! Anyways, I don't say it very often. Okay, I don't say it at all but it's not like you don't know: I love you. You're my favorite eldest kuya! Haha! I have never trusted anyone as much I've trusted you. You stopped me from feeling so completely alone. I swear, you're the coolest thing ever. Thanks so much for being so strong. Tch, darn, sorry I couldn't be there to spoil the hell out of your kids. I was looking forward to going to college with you but you know, sh*t happens. Hehe! You're the only thing that kept me from turning into a complete kikay girly girl. You always took care of me. You're the only corporate person whose opinions mattered to me so much. I loved sharing things with you. Just so you know, I hated your stupid OJT during the summer. You were out the entire time! I didn't get to spend the vacation with you and that sucked so bad. Still, you managed to pull me out of my room and make me make you a sandwich. I love you like an armada of sandwiches. MWAH. Understand, ok? Hold mami for me. She needs it. Wemembew the macawowni and cheese!! Be a good daddy and find an awesome wife or I will rise from my grave and ANNIHILATE her!! Wooza.

Carlo. I'm so sorry for a billion things. You have no idea how much I've prayed that the next time I wake up, we're the little mischievous kids again causing havoc and anarchy within the household. Everything was easier and far more beautiful back then. You're the most innocent being I've ever known and people can't really get that. I'm sorry I wasn't able to do enough to save you from them. I love you so much. I promise you, if I could do it from wherever I'm going, I will protect you from this sick world. Mama said I was your protector and I don't intend on ever ceasing to be so. Please be happier than everyone because you deserve all the beautiful things in the world. Don't you ever stop your art. Don't you dare. I wanted to give you everything. The most beautiful art you've ever created is my childhood. You're an angel we don't deserve. You have a very special place in my heart, boy. You become the greatest thing the world has ever seen, okay? I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I LOVE YOU.

Alex! Ayetot!! Ayeti! Uy, Wentworth Miller is mahn! Yeah, no, ok, fine. Yours na. Along with all our other favorite rockstars and actors. Stop being so mataray na, okay? You're still so young, sweetheart. Be happy. You need to be the new second mommy now. I won't be there anymore so you be really good, okay? You watch out for everyone. Especially your kuyas. You treat them with respect, okay? Remember to keep studying because you're a really smart kid. Don't drive at 14kph when you could go at 180kph is what I'm saying. Hey, no uptight twats, ha! Don't be pikon or people will "pik on" you! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Ok, I'll stop. I love you so bury mats! You're the best sister ever! I'm sorry I had to go so early and that I won't be able to interrogate any of your future boyfriends (which you will get AFTER college). Please, please, please stay away from the bad people. They suck. You be a good girl but no too good. Hehe. Those crazy nights we stayed up late singing to Fall Out Boy will always be in my heart. I'll have my arms around you whenever you sleep in our room. (Uy! Keep it clean!) You're never alone 'cause I won't let you feel that way.

Julio. Hey, bebe-boy. Don't be sad, okay? It's bad for your bloodsugar. Promise me you'll keep yourself healthy? Take good care of yourself! You become whatever you want to be. Don't stop drawing those dragons and robots 'cause that's where I'll be. Don't throw away your imagination ever. I love you so much. We've done so many cool things and I'm so proud of them. I'm so proud of you. Keep that kid in you alive. Listen to mami, okay? You kept me sane when the whole house was full of grown-ups! Viva La Bam, mmkay? You're the most AWESOME kid brother anyone could ever have. I'm sorry I wasn't able to watch The Transformers with you, Megatron. Don't worry, though, I might be able to sneak in through the ticket guy and sit with you. Heehee. I'm sorry I won't be able to play with you anymore. But just because I'm not there anymore, doesn't mean you have to stop being playful. You're a bundle of randomness and that's a gift you got from *ehem ehem* moi. Oh gawd, I love you so very much. I'm thankful I got to go first before you did 'cause I can't bear losing you.

Ayet and Julio - Taking care of you kids is the coolest thing I've ever had to endure. I'm sorry I won't be able to take you guys biking anymore but don't stop anyway, okay? And BE CAREFUL, ARG!! Not too fast, Julio, and stay at the side!! GAWD!!!! $#*&%!! And no fighting!!! Please! Sige na!! I'm dead na nga eh! If somebody cries one more time because someone hit somebody because someone wanted to use the computer or the ps2, I will let all Hell loose upon you!! ARG!!!! Sigh. Okay. Cheers, lovelies.

Hi, Lola. Sorry po that you have to go through this. I love you so much. Please don't be sad. You still have many apo's. I'll tell Lolo you said hi and that you love him but I'm sure he knows that already. I'll be fine here with him. We'll take care of each other. You be happy with whomever, okay? I love you po. I know it sucks to have to have outlived your granddaughter. I'm sorry. Thank you for all the magnificent times we spent together. Being around you makes me feel so at home.

To my friends:

Danix - Thanks for the memories, anyways. I won't look back in resentment. Shame, though. So much for "You will not destroy me!"

Carlie, Danix and Ninski - Sigh. You taught me a lot of things. Thanks so much for the awesome times!!! Too bad all of us couldn't get that tattoo we planned to get. Haha! Oh well! Remember that time it was just the four of us in Coffee Bean and there were all those people outside waiting for we didn't know? Then that Viktor look alike who was totally frustrated? That was awesome! Or that time when we swam the first day of summer in Carlie's house and we made that game with the jellyfish and the shark? Sheesh, that was one of the best days ever. I wish I could clone it... I still have the scar from the scratches Carlie's pool gave me. You stay together now. I mean it! DON'T FORGET EETS ADER!!! Get together at least every year. Mmkay?

Katrina - Hey, man. Thanks for EVERYTHING. You have always had my back since the beginning. I'm sorry I didn't get to write your eulogy. Thanks for watching out for me and hitting me everytime you knew I'd do something stupid! Thanks for listening to all the bollocks I had to say. For all the childish and immature conversations I'd strike. Thanks for being there whenever I needed you no matter how much you needed to be somewhere else. Thanks for all the afternoon hugs that would just stop my chest from exploding from all the stress. Hanging out with you is one of the most calming and exhilirating things I've ever done. Thanks for always ALWAYS being so honest and sincere with me. I still can't believe you'd cover for me whenever I'd get into some trouble (remember first year? HAHAHA!!!). Thanks for appreciating all the things I've written. I'm sorry for a lot of the things I've failed to do. Tch. I'm such an idiot. I'm so effing grateful for the privelege of getting to know you. I give you glomps of forever. Shame we didn't get to rock our days away at the Warped Tour. I hope you do, though. Play till those fingers bleed! I'll say hi to Kurt Cobain for thee. Keep up with the film and music industry, love! DO YOUR EFFING BEST OR I WILL NOT HAUNT YOU!!! So yeah... Alabshoes!! Remember, if one night you hear an eerie ringing accompanied by a "I am a kitten. I am a kitten.", totally not me. Ahem. You're awesome at a lot of things and you know it.

Abbey - Thanks for the daily dose of precious randomness. To Chalkzone I go! If you go sane one day, I will pray to the GODS of Randomness TO INTERVENE and BURN YOUR SOUL in a MARSHMALLOW HELL!!!!!! Okay? Okay. Mwah.

Tina and Carissa - Thanks for appreciating my writing skills. You guys rock, too! Don't deny it. Don't. Shut up. Shut. Up. Shhhh. I'm dead, therefore I get the say in this! Gawd. You both have awesome imaginations as well. Otherwise, we wouldn't have gotten along. Beh! Argue with that! Excel, my pretties, excel away!! Btw, cremate me with that little playlist you guys burned for us for Valentine's Day so that one day, your radios will mysteriously turn on and play "I Love You, You Weirdo."

Annie - Hey. I'm soooo sorry for a thousand reasons. I've missed you so badly. I hate me for ever drifting away. It's the biggest mistake I've ever made. I love you so much. Thanks for everyday we spent at your house and all the Brother's Burger deliveries we ordered. Thanks for all the ways you tried to take care of me. Thanks for every phone conversation we had. Everything was so much easier when we were together. You were the greatest best friend ever. I wish you all the best and hot guys the world has to offer. Happy choosing! Hehe! Bubbles bubbles bubbles!! I still have that video we made when we were grade 7 after that Christmas party! MWAH!!!

Annie, Janine, Bianca - Gawd, I miss our grade 6 selves so badly. That was the best year I had in WR, when all my friends were in one classroom. Thank you for every lunchtime when we turned our chairs to face each other and listen to Annie's neverending dream about Westlife and etc. Those memories are the most precious ones. I remember when it was Janine's birthday in Vivere and she told us that it was formal so we all dressed up for it. Then when we met up with her, she was dressed all casual. That was HILAROUS!!! Bianca, I miss you so badly. I'll float by someday. You guys stuck by me through thick and thin... Then the tragedy of growing up took place. I LOVE YOU. I wish that year lasted forever.

To my cousins - Thanks for the great times. Ahaha!! In HIM we trust, ok? I'm so grateful for every moment we spent together. Especially at the crappy Mardi Gras in Subic. That was adventurous! Baguio ulit! I'm so grateful for all the love I could've never gotten from anyone else.

"To die would be an awfully big adventure." -J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

Do whatever at my funeral. I just want a RED coffin. BLOOD RED coffin, alright? With lots of roses!! Then at the funeral march, play Destroy All Vampires by Legion of Doom. It's so awesome.

Rock on, loved ones.

Posted by Mawnsturr on Saturday, September 30, 2006 at 5:18 AM | Permalink